My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
