I wannas sexs uuuuu
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize