Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
