So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
