is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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