Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
