Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I party with great urgency now.
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