My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
