This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
