omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
