he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
