I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
sex in a hospital.. check
did you just send me my own nude
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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