Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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