I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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