Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
