what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
