She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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