Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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