Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
