marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
