I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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