according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
