Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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