as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
