Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
