he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Randomize
