Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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