"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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