they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
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