they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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