she was so not down for the gang bang
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
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