just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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