dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
