I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
