Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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