Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
