Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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