Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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