xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
