direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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