You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
