I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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