i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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