remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I think i got beer on your cat.
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