I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
