yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
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