i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
