I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Michael Bay diarrhea
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
