anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
