Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
