I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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