i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
