just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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