I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He did a backflip because drugs
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
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