Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
