I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
