We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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