I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
