I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
