A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize