i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
