feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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