the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
