DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
