Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
