If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
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