All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I showed him my bush... on skype.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ketchup is God's man juice
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
