I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize