so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Blow job season was short but glorious.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
